Friday, October 17, 2008

Sometimes I'm Selfish

When most people find out that I have five children, the first thing they ask is "how do you do it?". My automatic assumption is that they are asking how I maintain the status of Supermom. How do I get everything done for everyone all the time, leaving no room for failure or disappointment. And usually I give them some kind of answer that indicates that I know it is a lot of hard work but I have a lot of support which helps me keep it all moving forward, otherwise I would have stopped after the first one was born.

But the real truth is: Sometimes I'm selfish.

I refuse to try to be supermom. Only those in my very tight inner sanctum have seen my house beyond the threshold of the front door. Otherwise, the gig would be up and everyone would know what a failure I am at the "Supermom" persona. Don't get me wrong, I am not under any kind of assumption that anyone I know actually thinks I am a Supermom. If I thought that, it would be safe to assume that I have actually lost my very last marble and someone needs to come over here and slap me silly until the oxygen level in my brain returns to normal.

OK, back to the selfish part. Yes, its true. I am not 100% dedicated to every beck and call of my children. Sometimes I let them go without what they are requesting and most of the time I make them wait until I'm finished doing whatever I'm focused on at the moment. Most nights I repeatedly and adamantly insist that they "get out of my room" after 9:00pm because that is MY QUIET TIME. If it didn't happen before 9pm it must wait until tomorrow morning - even if it means they have to get up at 5:00am to do reading homework because they didn't tell me about it earlier.

And now for more selfish secrets:

Some nights (most nights) as soon as 9:00 hits, I climb into my bed with a Snickers bar and a diet coke or three, turn on The Fox Network and fire up my laptop to blog or work on one of my website endeavors. As soon as the door opens with one of my children asking me to do just one more thing before bedtime I very loudly insist that they leave my room immediately - all in an effort to hide the fact that I have a mouth full of chocolate covered peanut and nougat goodness.

No, I'm not Supermom - not even close. But I do love my children and have stayed up countless nights working on finishing a science fare projects even after they have turned in for the night. I've taken trips to WalMart at 6:00am to get that one last thing they needed for school that day. They are all well loved an hugged every day but some days I just have to have my ME TIME. Otherwise I think I will go completely insane.

So, if any of my readers are disappointed to find out that not only am I not Supermom, but that I actually admit that I am sometimes selfish - I'm sorry for the shock, but I just can't keep up with Supermom anymore. In fact, I have secretly been plotting a hit. If I ever find her, I'm going to take her down on behalf of moms everywhere who are at their wits end trying to keep up with her ever expanding reputation. And then I'm going to crawl back into my bed to eat another Snickers bar.

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