Thursday, March 26, 2009

He Said, She Said


Bread, Bread and More Bread!














And even MORE BREAD

Alternate titles: He Bread, She Bread or What Men Hear

Tuesday Morning 5:00am
Mister: You should go shopping today while I’m at work because we are out of everything but please only spend about $100.
ProlificMom: How about this - I will wait until you come home from work and we can go shopping together so you can be the “grocery cop”. (First, I don’t really like shopping with the Mister, but for the last few months I have insisted that we shop together so he cannot criticize what I did or did not get, or what I should or should not have gotten, or how much I spend on groceries. Second, his shopping technique drives me crazy because he starts at the back of the store with the milk and takes about twice as long as me to make his selections. Thats 90 minutes of unrefridgerated milk before we even make it to the register, and that is just the beginning of what drives my crazy. So, I was being sarcastic when I called him the “grocery cop”.)

1:00pm
Phone call from The Mister
Mister: I have to work a little bit late and then I’m going to do some things before I get home….so I will be a little bit late.
ProlificMom: Where will you be going?
Mister: …….just places…you’ll see when you get home
ProlificMom: OoooooKaaaaaay? So, I will pick up the kids and I’ll see you when you get home - whenever that is.

3:15pm
ProlificMom picks up kids from school and heads to the bread store. Its just down the street from the school so I shop there before or after school pickup. We buy bread at the Mrs Bairds retail store because we save a lot of money that way. $23 worth of bread products later we are on the way back to school to pick up 6th grader and head home. All is well with the world or so I thoght.

3:55pm Phone call from The Mister
Mister: When you get home there will be tater tots cooking in the oven for the kids to eat as a snack. I’m on the way to the grocery store to do the shopping.
ProlificMom: Well don’t bother to get any bread because I just came from the bread store where I spent $23. We are stocked up for the next two weeks.
Mister: What? NOOOOOOOO. I already went to the bread store and I spent $22. You need to go back and get your money back because we don’t need all that bread! You told me I could be the grocery cop today.
ProlificMom: OOOOOOh Nooooooooo! First, I’m not taking the bread back. We will just have to freeze it. Second, when you called me earlier and said you had places to go, I asked you where you were going and you just said places. If you had told me you were going to the bread store I wouldn’t have gone there too. Why didn’t you tell me where you were going when I asked? I did not fail to communicate on the subject. While I didn’t tell you I was planning to shop for bread, you didn’t tell me where you were planning to go when I asked “where are you going”. THIRD, when we had our discussion about groceries this morning, I SAID WE SHOULD SHOP TOGETHER so you could be the grocery cop AND I ASKED YOU WHERE YOU WERE GOING AFTER WORK. You should have told me you were going to do the shopping. I ASKED!!!!!!
Mister: But you said I could be the grocery cop. Why didn’t you tell me you were going to buy bread.
ProlificMom: I didn’t JUST SAY you could be the grocery cop. I said we should go TOGETHER so you could be the grocery cop. Helloooooo? Is anybody in there?
***************
What ProlificMom said: I will wait until you come home from work and we can go shopping together so you can be the “grocery cop”.

What the Mister heard:
bla bla bla bla bla you come home from work bla bla bla bla bla bla you can be the “grocery cop”. (Translation: After you come home from work, I would like for you to do all of the shopping.)