Thursday, August 21, 2008

Baseball, Terrorism and Some Curiously Strong Mints

At the age of 38 I am still amazed that there are things I don't know about myself. For instance, I recently discovered that I am a huge fan of Texas Rangers Baseball. Unfortunately, with five children to feed, I don't get to attend games at the stadium very often. Recently, however, we did attend a game as a special occasion for our son's birthday.

Upon arriving at the Stadium we held out our tickets and began the process of passing through the security screeners. First, I must say that they were all very courteous and friendly. This always makes it easier when I have to open my purse and reveal its contents to a total stranger. Since 911, this has become a common practice when entering almost any public venue. I don't mind having to go through the screening process to ensure the safety of everyone in the stadium. However, on this occasion, I happened to have a bottle of expensive red fingernail polish and a small tin of peppermint flavored Altoids - The Curiously Strong Mints. They politely informed me that these items would not be allowed into the stadium and offered to transport me via golf cart back to my vehicle to safely deposit my items. I appreciated the offer but decided to walk back to the van by myself. This would not have been a problem except for the fact that, on this occasion, I forgot my keys at home. To complicate things, I told Will and the kids to go on without me and I would meet them at our seats. After the long walk to the van, I discovered that I had forgotten my keys. Will, as usual, had his cell phone ringer turned off so he didn't answer the phone when I tried to call him 16 times on the way back to the gate. I was left with no choice but to reluctantly dispose of my nail polish and breath mints before going back through the security process.

The lesson - don't take your purse to the ballgame. All you really need is your cell phone, credit card, one form of ID and your keys. All of these should fit in your pockets easily. So, I was a little bit disappointed about losing the equivalent of the price of at least three gallons of gas, but I got over it and went on to enjoy the game.

Three months later I was at home watching the Rangers play the NY Yankees. It was the bottom of the 9th inning and Derick Jeter was up to bat. He hit a foul ball down the first base line and THEN I SAW IT! As the ball flew past the foul line and almost into the crowd, an older bearded gentleman in the front row jumped out of his seat and reached over the rail into the field in an attempt to capture the baseball with what appeared to be a four foot long ALUMINUM FISHING NET! At that moment, it all came back to me. How is it that my small metal box of Altoids - the Curiously Strong Mints - were a threat to national security, and yet this man was able to take his metal fishing net into the baseball stadium? I know that the Altoids box says that they curiously strong mints but I think the four foot long metal object being waved in the air was a much greater security threat.

Go Rangers! I'm cheering for you. but I seriously think you owe me at least three gallons of gas.

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