Saturday, February 9, 2008

You Know You're a Mom When......

  • You're driving home from work in your new Cadillac and you notice small human footprints going both up and down your front windshield.
  • All of your children run into the house and disappear into a bedroom down the hallway. One of your sons immediately comes out to inform you that “there IS NOT a frog in Natalie's room." Two days later, you discover that the odor coming from her closet is a makeshift tadpole pond.
  • You find cat poop in one of the kids' rooms but you don't own a cat - at least not one that you know about.
  • You hear the sound of tiny reindeer on the roof but it's not Christmas, so you go outside to discover your two young sons on the roof...playing with butcher knives.
  • The thing that went bump in the night was the sound of two boys throwing poop on their ceiling.
  • You discover the all too familiar odor of urine in the carpet is the result of your boys' contest to see who could pee the farthest from the top shelf of their closet.
  • You can’t find your favorite food storage container because your son just gave a dead rat a proper burial in the back yard. It didn't have a family of its own to give it a funeral.
  • Your fifth and final child finally starts Kindergarten, and after a week you get a call from the Principal informing you that he is being suspended for three days for punching another student in the stomach.
  • The good news is that you no longer have to buy diapers...The bad news is that your grocery bill has now tripled.
  • All five of your children have a science fare project due on the same day - tomorrow - and you just found out about it ten minutes ago.
  • The fridge door was left open and you can't find your three year-old son. Ten minutes later you find him hiding near the front door eating a stick of butter.
  • Your husband calls you on your way to work in a panic because he can’t find your four-year-old son anywhere in the house. He has combed the house twice and has knocked on all of the neighbors’ doors for two streets over. Although you are 30 minutes away, you drive home to help search for him. As soon as you walk through the front door, you call down the hallway “do you want some ice cream?” - And your son calls back from inside his closet with a “yes.”

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